Planning a wedding is all about how to make it more personalized so it can truly speak to your unique love story and couple style. Choosing to write your own wedding vows is one of the biggest ways you could personalize your wedding day. So how do you write wedding vows that are as unique as your couple style?

As the owner of Wedding Words, I specialize in collaborating with creative couples to articulate their love story into personalized wedding vows. Here are my top tips for how to write your own personalized wedding vows.

Tip #1: Touch on How You Met

How you met is unique to you as a couple and is one of the larger details in your love story. Even the most seemingly ordinary meet cutes can be made more unique by describing how it happened specifically for you.

Did you meet online? While that’s now common, what’s not-so-common are the details that go deeper into how you met. For example, perhaps the specific part is that you never imagined you’d hit it off because his profile declared a love of country music and camping.  

Take what may seem ordinary about your meeting and find the unique threads. Then highlight that version of your meeting in your vows.

Tip #2: Don’t Include Inside Jokes

A good rule of thumb to follow when writing personalized wedding vows is to leave the inside jokes outside of your vows. It may seem like a way to make your vows more unique but these jokes will not stand the time.

Wedding cinematographer, Scott Patterson, recommends that his couples exclude any inside jokes for exactly this reason: they will fall flat. We couldn’t agree more.

Tip #3: Include a Nickname

While it’s not a best practice to include inside jokes within your wedding vows, including a nickname for your fiancé is a nice way to personalize your wedding vows.

This name should be something only you call him to make it truly unique to you as a couple. Be sure that the pet name you choose to announce during your wedding ceremony publically is safe for guests to hear.

Babe, honey, bear—all personal to you two, all safe to use.

Pookie buns, hot stuff, Mr. Six Pack—a bit too personal.

Tip #4: Note Why You Uniquely Love Them

Why are you choosing to marry your fiancé? What makes them uniquely different from anyone else you’ve dated? Answering these questions is a vital step in being able to create personalized wedding vows.

A great way to capture these personalized details is to answer each question individually while talking into your phone’s voice recording feature. Play back the recording and transcribe your words. You’ll discover deep and personal material that you can use within your wedding vows to make them especially specific to you as a couple.

Tip #5: Avoid Generic Quotes or Bible Verses That Don’t Apply to You

o write personalized wedding vows, you should avoid anything that doesn’t have some sort of personal connection to your relationship.

For example, why would you include the widely-recognized “love is patient…love is kind…” quote into your vows when neither one of you are religious? It doesn’t make sense and is more cliché than personalized.

But if you and your fiancé have seen every Star Wars movie together and watch the trilogy on your anniversary each year, then it might make sense and feel personal to include a Princess Leia quote.

It’s okay to use quotes and bible verses—just make sure the phrases you’re choosing are personal to you.

Tip #6: Write the Way You Speak

A challenge with writing is the desire to sound effortlessly eloquent. You’re writing your wedding vows—not a critically acclaimed haiku. Write the way you’d speak.

A good way to ensure you’re writing sounds natural to your voice is to read your wedding vows out loud. Does it feel natural? Are there any words or phrases you’re tripping over?

You can even try recording you reading your personalized wedding vows. Listen to your recording to make sure it sounds like your voice.

Tip #7: Include Your Dreams for Your Marriage

The meaning of marriage is different to every person and couple. What does your future marriage represent to you? What sort of promises would you make to your fiancé? What kind of relationship dynamic do you see?

Include a few sentences within your wedding vows about your desires for your marriage to add more personalization.

Tip #8: Package Your Vows Using a Vow Booklet

Another way to personalize your wedding vows is with how you choose to package them. Vow booklets are the best way to hold your vows during the wedding ceremony.

Choose a design that shows your personality as a couple or one that matches your wedding colors. These vow booklets will also make for special wedding keepsakes.

Tip #9: Use a Wedding Vow Writer

There’s an art to writing personalized wedding vows.

Are you stressing out over how to perfect your unique wedding vows? You don’t need to conquer this battle alone.

Consider hiring a professional wedding vow writer to take your love story and create your own personalized wedding vows.

Curious about the process? Check out how I work with couples to write custom wedding vows at Wedding Words.