Whether you’re the parents of the couple, a wedding party member, or the soon-to-be-newlyweds, it can be daunting to write a rehearsal dinner speech. 

As a professional wedding speech writer, I’ve outlined a guide with examples of how to prepare your rehearsal dinner speech. 

Tip #1: Understand the Logistics 

Before you can write a rehearsal dinner speech, you need to know some logistical details. 

Venue: What is the setting for the rehearsal dinner? A country club may inspire your speech to be more formal while an arcade may warrant your speech to be on the casual and playful side. 

Attendees: How many guests will be attending the dinner and who are they? Is it mostly friends or mostly family? Adjust the style of your speech to those who will be listening to it. 

The speech lineup: Are you the only one giving a speech or will others be speaking? If so, who are they? This will affect what you say. For example, if you’re the father of the bride but you know the father of the groom is speaking and he’s hosting the event, you want to make sure your speech doesn’t come across as if you’re a co-host. 

Tip #2: Start with an Introduction

While the group may be on the smaller side compared to the actual wedding day, still introduce yourself. Not everyone will necessarily know you or your relationship with the couple. 

Examples:

• Good evening, everyone. My name is Regina. I’m the maid of honor and the bride’s childhood best friend.

• Welcome! I’m Leo, the groom’s father. 

• Thank you all for being here tonight. I’m Bert, the bride’s father. 

Don’t overthink this part of your speech. Simple and straightforward is all you need. 

Tip #3: Tell Short Stories

The best way to engage an audience is to tell a story. In the case of a rehearsal dinner speech, you want to focus on stories about each person in the couple. You have three goals with storytelling in a speech:

• Keep it short and concise

• Every story should share a similar theme

• The stories should exemplify positive traits about the person

As an example, if you told a story about your son as the captain of his high school soccer team and another story about how he took care of his first pet, the theme that ties these two stories together might be how nurturing he is.

Then you can take that theme and apply it to the concept of marriage like this: 

Seeing how my son has always been deeply nurturing, I know when it comes to his marriage he will care for it, tend to it, and support its growth just like he has with anything he’s been passionate about. 

Tip #4: Close with a nod to the upcoming wedding 

It’s time to get everyone excited about the big day. Near the end of your speech, include a line or two about the upcoming nuptials.

Examples: 

• As we head into the wedding day, may our hearts be ready to receive all the love that I know we’ll witness between Jack and his bride.

• I’m so grateful to call Sheila my friend and I look forward to officially welcoming her new wife into our wolf pack tomorrow. 

• May tomorrow be a beautiful new beginning for Jenna and Todd.  

Tip #5: Don’t Write in a Vacuum 

It’s hard to write a rehearsal dinner speech. You don’t need to do it alone and you shouldn’t. It’s helpful to collaborate with someone to ensure that your speech will be a hit. 

Work with a close friend you trust or turn to an expert. 

As a wedding speech writer, I work with parents and wedding party members to craft custom and heartful rehearsal dinner speeches.

Get in touch to see how we can work together to write a speech that will impress everyone at the rehearsal dinner. 

Rehearsal Dinner Speech Questions

Can only the father of the groom give a rehearsal dinner speech?

Historically, it’s tradition for the parents of the groom to host the rehearsal dinner and therefore the father of the groom is the one to give a speech.

However, there are no rules anymore. Some weddings don’t even have a groom and some grooms do not have fathers. The couple gets to decide who speaks at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding. 

How long should the speech be?

Rehearsal dinner speeches should be less than five minutes. Two to three minutes is the sweet spot. 

Should the speech be funny or serious? 

The tone of the rehearsal dinner speech depends on your personality, the couple’s personality, and the tone of the event.

If you tend to be a light-hearted and humorous person, inject some playfulness into your speech. If making jokes feels foreign to you, keep it on the sweet and sentimental side.

I personally strive to write rehearsal dinner speeches that balance serious tones with funny lines. Your goal should be to make guests laugh and shed away a tear. 

When will I give the speech at the rehearsal dinner? 

This depends on what the couple has planned for the event.

Most speeches, however, are recited just before dinner is served. So be aware of how many drinks you toss back during cocktail hour. You don’t want to sound sloppy during your speech. 

I’m a terrible public speaker. What can I do to prepare? 

The best thing you can do to overcome public speaking nerves is to practice. Recite the speech out loud at least three to six times before the event. It’s best if you can practice in front of someone. 

Should I memorize my speech for the rehearsal dinner?

No. Do not feel pressure to memorize your toast. If you forget one word or line, your mind will go blank, and you’ll be stuck.

Instead, print your speech, and read from it while making frequent eye contact with the couple and guests.

Can the couple speak at their own rehearsal dinner? 

Absolutely! Couples who chose to speak at their own rehearsal dinner often focus on thanking their guests for attending and calling out specific people who have helped to make their wedding day possible.