Are you the bride’s cousin and you’ve been asked to recite a speech at her wedding? Queue the endless list of questions running through your mind!

Where are you supposed to begin? What should you say? How do you keep guests interested?

The task of writing a wedding speech is overwhelming. But when you’re family and close with the bride, the stakes are even higher.

As a professional wedding speech writer, I write custom speeches for cousins of the bride and I’m here to help you.

I’ve created this easy-to-follow guide for you to follow so that you can write a speech your cousin will appreciate and that you will rock. 

Tip #1: Reflect Back on Your Childhood

As the bride’s cousin, you likely have countless childhood memories together. Now is the time to dig into your past and brainstorm ideas for your wedding speech.

It can be hard to mentally travel back so many years to remember all of the little moments that left a big impression on you and your relationship.

To help, use these writing prompts to come up with material for your wedding speech. 

• What are some of your favorite family trips you took together?

• When did she make you laugh the hardest?

• How did you have fun together?

• Why do you believe you share such a close bond or connection?

• How did you spend your time together?

• What stories from your childhood do you find yourself still repeating all these years later?

Tip #2: Consider Recent Memories 

Since you’ve known each other since you were kids, it’s great to include those childhood memories but also think about more recent stories. 

For example, how has your relationship evolved now that you’re both adults? How has your dynamic shifted? How does the bride support you or show you her love? What qualities of hers do you want to highlight? 

Think of the woman she is today, your relationship in its current state, and which parts of these concepts you want to bring to life throughout your wedding speech. 

Tip #3: Determine the Tone

When it comes to the tone, you could write a sweet and sentimental speech or a playful and humorous speech. The best wedding speeches are often a balance of serious and funny. 

No matter what, play to your strengths. If you’re shy and never the one to crack a joke, don’t feel pressure to become a comedian at the mic. Instead, lean into your natural personality. 

The overall tone of the speech should mirror your voice. This way, your speech will be delivered in a genuine manner. Plus, you’ll sound authentic to everyone who knows you and most importantly, to the bride. 

Tip #4: Start with a Story

Now that you’ve brainstormed plenty of ideas for your speech, it’s time to choose a story to kick off your toast with. 

Stories are the best way to captivate guests’ attention and keep them interested. So after a quick introduction where you state your name and how you know the bride, jump into a well-articulated story. 

And remember, every story should contain these key elements:

• A sense of place: Where are you and what’s happening? 

• Positive traits about the bride: What does this story show about the bride’s personality?

• The point: Why did you choose to tell this story? The point should be impactful and tie back to the bride or her marriage. 

Once you finish telling your first story, use that story to seamlessly transition into the next short anecdote. 

Focus on 2 - 3 short stories about the bride and 1 - 2 short stories about her new spouse. 

And remember, you don’t need to say, “I’m going to tell a story.” Storytelling is most impactful and entertaining when you dive in without the preamble.

Tip #5: Captivate with a Theme

Coming up with lots of stories about the bride and her partner is one task to tick off of your list. But once you have story ideas, how do you connect them all within your speech?

This challenge can be solved by determining a central theme. 

To decide on your theme, review your notes from when you brainstormed ideas. What are common threads? What trends can you spot?

Perhaps most of the stories you remember about your cousin have to do with her outgoing personality or how she can make you laugh like no one else can.

Maybe she’s the one who always shows up and can be counted on during every season of life from times of hardship to joyful moments.

Focus on a central theme and then use this theme to organize and connect each one of your stories together. 

Tip #6: Include Her New Spouse in the Speech

You may be the bride’s cousin but you should still include her new spouse within the wedding toast. 

The most impactful way to do this is to include a few details about them that fall in line with your chosen theme.

For example, if you chose the theme of humor, talk about how they too have a playful spirit and tell a story about that time they had you laughing. 

If you don’t know your cousin’s partner especially well, you can still mention them in your speech.

Instead of specific stories though, focus on why you believe their relationship will be a success or how you feel they’ve impacted your cousin in a positive way.

Example:

Ever since Dahliah started dating Bruce, I’ve seen her laugh louder, smile brighter, and radiate pure joy. I don’t believe this is a coincidence. This is Bruce’s influence making her life happier. As her cousin who only wants the best for her, this makes me happier too. 

Tip #7: Consult with an Expert 

Whether you’re busy, overwhelmed, or just can’t fathom writing the speech you know your cousin deserves, consult with a wedding speech writer. 

I work with cousins of the bride to write heartfelt, humorous, and impactful speeches and I’d love to help you too. 

Get in touch to learn more about the process and to start working together to write your cousin of the bride speech.