Failing to include specific promises within vows is the number one mistake most engaged couples make.
When a couple decides to write their own vows, they often detail reasons why they love their partner and they include a few funny anecdotes.
But the heart of what makes a wedding vow a vow, oppose to a love letter or speech, is the promises.
After all, a vow is really just a promise.
As a professional wedding vow writer, I collaborate with couples to write custom wedding vows that include all of the essential elements such as a strong opening, words of affirmation, and a loving closer. And of course, the promises.
Here’s your guide to everything you need to know about writing promises for your wedding vows.
Why do I need to write promises for my vows?
A vow is a promise. Without specific promises, you aren’t really reciting vows as much as you’re telling a story.
The purpose of wedding vows is to solidify your commitment to your partner as you enter into marriage and so it’s important to explain what you promise to your partner during this milestone moment.
Use your promises to communicate how you envision your future together and what kind of partner you wish to be for them.
How many promises should I include within my wedding vows?
A good rule of thumb is to include three to six promises.
Any more than six promises and the vows tend to lose their impact and emotional significance. Plus, the list starts to blur together, making it difficult to understand your key message.
Be concise, specific, and choose promises that feel very special to your unique relationship dynamic.
What kind of promises should I make to my partner?
Focus on promises that are specific to you, your partner, and your relationship.
You can choose to include only serious promises or you can try to include a few more playful and humorous promises as well.
Chose a style that fits your personality.
But keep in mind that even if funny wedding vows are your goal, you should include at least two serious promises. You want your vows to be grounded with a few promises that can represent your entire marriage through every changing season it will experience.
How can I come up with ideas for my promises?
Think about what kind of partner you wish to be or how you want your future spouse to feel. These prompts will help you discover promises.
You can also find inspiration in unconventional areas like your fights. Think about common arguments or on-going challenges you two have. How can you turn that into a promise?
For example, maybe you regularly get into a fight because you’re always running late for events together.
You could include a promise that addresses this concept. For example, “I promise that while I may not always be on time, I will do my best to not always be late.”
What are some examples of promises for my vows?
Here’s a list of specific promises for wedding vows that you can reference. Maybe a few of these will resonate with you or perhaps they inspire you to write your own.
”I promise to trust and respect you.”
”I promise to laugh at your jokes...even the ones that are only kind of funny.”
”I promise to show appreciation for all the little things you do for me.”
“I promise to always put God first in our marriage.”
”I promise to be honest and faithful.”
“I promise to always put our love first.”
“I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone.”
“I promise to chase your dreams alongside you.”
“I promise to create a home where we will become our own family.”
“I promise to build a happy and loving home with you.”
“I promise you my whole heart for my entire life.”
“I promise to travel the world with you.”
“I promise to watch your favorite reality TV shows with you.”
“I promise to not just say ‘I love you’ but to show you every day.”
“I promise to forgive quickly and to love you easily.”
“I promise to never forget how we began and allow that loving feeling to carry us through to our very end.”
“I promise you all of me, forever.”
Should my partner and I have similar promises?
You do not need to share your specific promises before your wedding day. In fact, I’d suggest that you reveal them for the first time during your ceremony. This can make the moment more memorable and meaningful.
However, there are a few things you should align on before your wedding day and as you begin writing.
Agree on how many promises you’ll include and what the tone will be for them. For example, you may want to include five promises with four of them being serious and one being more on the playful or humorous side.
Can my vows be made up of only promises?
While most couples I work with want to include additional details to their vows, like how they met and words of affirmation, you can absolutely write vows that are made up of only promises.
This is ideal for anyone who wants their vows to be less than one minute, who is very to the point, and who believes that brevity can be the most impactful.
Can you help me write my promises?
Absolutely! As a wedding vow writer, I help couples write their vows which includes the promises.
Many couples struggle with how to turn their feelings into the structure of promises and that’s where I come in to help.
Get in touch and we’ll write promises for your vows that you will feel excited to recite and that your partner will appreciate.