Once you become engaged, it seems there’s a specialist to assist with every part of the wedding planning: wedding planner, floral designer, dress seamstress. But what about help with writing your personalized wedding vows?
This overwhelming task is often left for you to manage alone. It shouldn’t be. As the creator of Wedding Words, a boutique business that offers vow writing services, I’ve compiled a list of tips for where to find help when it comes to writing your own wedding vows.
Tip #1: Use a Professional Vow Writing Service
If you’re feeling completely overwhelmed with how to write your wedding vows, turn to a vow writing service for help.
Wedding Words offers a one-on-one custom vow writing service to help stressed out couples express their love.
This collaborative vow writing service is a completely custom approach. The process begins with a video call. On this call I ask a series of questions to understand your relationship history, what makes your love unique, and what your hopes are for marriage.
I then create a first draft based on our conversation. Next, you’ll have an opportunity to review the first draft and provide feedback. What parts do you love? Which parts need to be reworked?
I’ll edit the vows and provide a finalized version for you. Along with the finalized vows, I also include a personalized video where I walk you through tips for how to deliver your specific wedding vows and talk about how to overcome common public speaking fears.
Couples who I’ve worked with have expressed how they feel about the vow writing service through their rave reviews.
Tip #2: Take a Course
Have you ever taken an online course to learn something new? Well digital courses aren’t just for learning a new language or web design. Now you can learn how to write your own wedding vows by signing up for a Wedding Words vow writing course.
This course guides you through each step I take with my clients in the one-on-one vow writing service. Only the digital course puts you in the driver’s seat. You lead the writing and editing all while being fully supported through a step-by-step guide.
Once you’ve completed the course, you can send a copy of your final wedding vows to me for review. I’ll respond with line-edits and feedback to make sure your vows display the exact meaning and impact that you wish to achieve.
Tip #3: Work with Your Maid of Honor
Your maid of honor is there to support you throughout every step of the wedding planning process. Plus, you two are super close. What better person to help with your vow writing than her?
Plan your next hang out session around vow writing. There are many ways your maid of honor can help you write your wedding vows but the key is interviewing her.
Interviewing your maid of honor might sound odd. However, when you start asking her questions about your relationship, you’ll see how useful this organized conversation will be to writing your vows.
The purpose of asking her questions is to understand your relationship through the eyes of someone you’re very close to but who isn’t as close to your relationship as you are.
Ever heard of the saying, “I was too close to it to see it?” Sometimes we’re too close to our own relationships to identify great themes or points to make within our wedding vows. This is where your maid of honor can help.
Tip #4: Talk with Your Family
Meeting your partner’s family is often a big relationship milestone. Chat with your family to hear what they were thinking the first time you brought your fiancé over to visit.
What was their impression of your fiancé? How did they connect? Why did they think you two made a good couple?
Reminisce about these memories over good food during your next family get-together, and let the conversation fuel inspiration for your wedding vows.
Tip #5: Align with Your Fiancé
You might not think to talk with your fiancé about vow writing since you want your vows to be a surprise but there are a few key points to discuss that could actually help with your vow writing.
Here are a few vow writing concepts you two should discuss before you put pen to paper:
Word count:
How long should your wedding vows be? Agree on a word count to ensure the speaking length for each of your vows is about the same. I recommend keeping word count to 650 or less. You can use this handy word count to speaking length calculator to see how many minutes your vows will be based on your word count.
Sentiment:
What should the tone of your wedding vows be? Are you okay with using humor? Should the vows be strictly serious? Agree on sentiment to make sure the tone you each use is not wildly different.
Off-limit topics:
Are there any topics or anecdotes that are off-limits for your wedding vows? Perhaps you don’t want to mention a deceased loved one as it would be too emotional to hear. Maybe you don’t want to relive the story of your first date. Communicate with your fiancé about topics that shouldn’t be included in your wedding vows.