Your BFF’s wedding is just around the corner. Queue the stress and anxiety as you struggle to write your maid of honor toast.
As a professional wedding vow and toast writer, I’ve seen how maids of honor can be tempted to rely on clichés and cringe-worthy quotes in their speeches.
While these trite lines feel comfortable, they don’t create an impactful impression on the bride or her guests.
Avoid these overly-used phrases in your MOH speech to achieve a more emotionally powerful toast.
Cliché #1: “For those of you who don't know me…”
This feels like an innocent way to kick off your speech. After all, not everyone in the room actually knows you, right? But your goal is to write a speech that captivates guests. To do this, you must remove any information that doesn’t serve that goal—like this line.
You can introduce yourself without it. Jump right in by starting your toast by simply stating your name and your relation to the bride.
Example:
Good evening! I’m Sarah Marvin, the bride’s younger sister.
Cliché #2: “I apologize in advance—I’m a terrible speaker.”
I’ll let you in on a little secret: everyone has a fear of public speaking. Starting with a self-deprecating joke might make you more comfortable, but it’s meaningless and does not captivate guests.
You actually achieve the opposite goal. Guests will become laser-focused on your public speaking skills and ready to notice your shaky hand and every “um” you utter.
Instead, prepare and practice your public speaking chops instead of calling attention to your insecurities.
Cliché #3: “How beautiful does the bride look?”
Of course, the bride looks beautiful. Everyone already knows this.
Instead consider how you, as the maid of honor, are in a unique position to communicate how the bride looks.
For example, as kids was she always playing bride? Perhaps she was the 14-year-old who collected bridal magazines and cut out her favorite gowns.
Take a cute childhood story and use that story to illustrate the meaning behind her being a bride.
This is far more interesting because you’re telling a personal story that lets guests into your world and gives more meaning to her bridal moment.
Cliché #4: “This is the most perfect day.”
Couldn’t you say that about any wedding? It’s generic and if we’re really being honest, it’s likely not even true. Something always goes wrong at a wedding.
What would be more personal? Think about the couple. Are they the first on the dance floor? Do they adore country music? Are they foodies?
Take a unique quality about the couple and draw a conclusion about the wedding based on that.
Example:
Knowing Kim and Mike, none of us will leave hungry—or sober—this evening.
Cliché #5: “But in all seriousness...”
Humor is a necessary element to a fantastic MOH speech. Make jokes but leave this transition out of your speech.
If it’s a solid joke, it will land. People will know you’re joking. You don’t need to spell it out by using this filler sentence.
Instead, allow a moment for the laughs to fade. Then simply transition into your next line to achieve true comedic timing.
Cliché #6: “To quote...”
Quotes are a life raft for those with writer’s block. They make the writing process much easier. One quick Google search, a copy and paste later, and boom! The toast is practically written for you.
The problem? Quotes lack authentic emotion and personalization. The bride wants to hear from you—not Meredith Grey, Nicolas Sparks, or Carrie Bradshaw.
There is one exception to using quotes and that’s if you have a quote that is especially meaningful to the bride or significant in your relationship with her.
Cliché #7: “Webster’s Dictionary defines marriage as…”
This isn’t an English class. No one at the reception is new to the concept of marriage. You don’t need to define it.
Cliché #8: “They are perfect for each other…”
This is too obvious. How can you better describe the couple? Dive deeply into why you think they are perfect for each other.
The best way to illustrate any major point within a speech is through a story.
Try sharing a memory from when you first met her partner. What happened? What did you learn?
Example:
The first time I met Matt, I witnessed how he laughed at Beth’s punny jokes, how he knew to order her dessert before she had taken her last bite of dinner, and how he brushed her hair out of her face. I knew in each of those moments that this man was different. I could see this person becoming her husband because he understood Beth in a way that I’d never witnessed before.
Cliché #9: “And the rest is history...”
If a story is worth including in your toast, then it is worth telling the entire story. This does not mean you need to dive into an 18-minute lecture outlining your entire friendship.
Be concise and focus on details that are relevant to the toast.
Cliché #10: “I wish you both all the happiness in the world...”
The last line of a wedding speech is your opportunity to leave the couple and guests with a strong and lasting impression.
Make it count. Ditch this common line and create a unique sentence that packs a more emotional punch.
Consider ending with a “call-back” which is an instant crowd-pleaser.
No matter how you decide to close your speech, choose a final line that could only be found at the end of your speech.
Need help with your maid of honor speech?
Want to write a maid of honor toast that doesn’t include these sorts of clichés? Get in touch.
As a professional wedding speech writer, I work with maids of honor to write custom speeches and I can’t wait to help you!