Even the best wedding party members procrastinate writing their wedding speech. Writing a best man speech, maid of honor speech or parent speech is intimidating.
What are you supposed to say? How do you overcome your public speaking fear? How can you inspire guests to laugh and shed a tear?
It’s no wonder so many people wait until the last minute to write their wedding toast.
If you can relate, this wedding speech writing guide is for you. We’ll cover how to write an impactful speech that you can be proud to deliver...even if you wrote it just days before the newlyweds say I do.
Tip #1: Get Out of Your Head and Get Words Down on Paper
You likely haven’t started writing your wedding speech because you’re too in your head about it. Maybe you have so many ideas, you don’t know what to do with them all. Or perhaps you are freaking out because you’re trying to come up with something, anything, to say.
No matter where you’re at, it’s time to stop thinking and start acting.
Pick up a pen and grab a piece of paper. Set a timer for 20 minutes. Next, free-write and do not stop writing until the timer dings.
Need writing inspiration? Consider these concepts as you free-write.
What traits do you admire about each person in the couple?
What are some of your favorite memories with the person you’re standing up for?
Why do you think they’re a good match?
What hopes and dreams do you have for them?
The idea isn’t to come up with a completed speech. It’s to get words down on paper. Focus on that for now.
Once you’re done with this judgment-free zone writing exercise, reread your notes.
You should have a decent amount of material to polish into a speech. And the following tips will show you how to take this information and transform it into a toast.
Tip #2: Follow a Wedding Speech Outline
Use your brainstorming material and insert these notes into the various parts of a speech outline. This outline makes it easy to see what to include and exclude from your wedding speech.
Wedding speech outline example:
Introduce yourself and your connection to the bride or groom
Talk about the person you’re standing up for
Talk about their partner
Provide well wishes or advice
Close with a killer last line
Tip #3: Focus on a Single Theme
When you’re short on time, don’t get consumed by the details. Instead, focus on one theme, rather than trying to work on several various ideas. When you do this, you can write your speech succinctly.
How do you discover your theme? Review the notes from your brainstorm. What do they have in common? Themes should start to emerge as you reference your notes.
For example, the groom’s thoughtfulness or his partner’s sense of humor may be the themes behind several of your notes.
Use that theme to tie each anecdote together and to drive your speech forward.
Tip #4: Don’t Use Generic Quotes
Only use quotes when they are special to the couple and perfectly capture them in a way that your own words could not.
If the quote or reading is common-place, ditch it.
It’s tempting to simply copy and paste a quote when you’re short on time but this is a surefire way to make your speech sound like you wrote it last-minute.
Instead, use quotes as inspiration. Why do you like a certain quote? How can you capture the spirit of that quote in your own words? How can you apply the idea of that quote to the couple in a more personalized manner?
Tip #5: Keep it Concise
Whether you’re writing your toast last-minute or have months to prepare, a wedding speech shouldn’t exceed 6 minutes.
When you’re short on time, focus on quality or quantity.
A three-minute speech is a sweet spot but if you only have time to write a one or two-minute speech go for it and make it one heck of a one-minute speech.
Tip #6: Get Professional Help to Write Your Speech
When you’re simply too busy, overwhelmed, and stressed to write a last-minute wedding speech, hire a professional wedding speech writer.
As the owner of Wedding Words, a professional wedding speech and vow writing company, I work with frazzled maid of honors and busy best men to remove their anxiety and inspire relief and confidence.
Every wedding speech I write is completely custom. I work directly with you to learn the unique nature of your relationship with the couple and write speeches that feel emotionally heartfelt and entertaining.
Rave reviews from past clients on The Knot and Wedding Wire will show you how happy my clients were to get help writing their speeches.
Are you ready to check writing your speech off of your to-do list? Get in touch now.
Tip #7: Practice Reciting Your Speech Out Loud
Writing your wedding speech is half of the battle. Once it’s completed, the other hurdle to overcome is honing in on your delivery.
Focus on these areas when practicing your speech:
Volume: Speak louder than you think you need to.
Pace: Slow down. Almost everyone talks faster than they should when delivering a speech.
Inflection: You won’t engage guests with a monotone delivery. Change your inflection at appropriate parts of the speech.
Eye-contact: Connect with the couple and guests by making eye-contact. If this idea makes you more nervous, make “fake eye-contact” by looking at the top of everyone’s head.
Posture: Stand tall. It will instantly make you look and feel more confident.
Hand gestures: Be aware of your hand gestures. Make enough to be entertaining but don’t make so many that they become distracting.