Whether you’re the maid of honor, best man, or a parent of the bride or groom, understanding how to write a wedding speech is an overwhelming task.
Where do you begin? How do you make it funny? Should you memorize your speech?
You can confidently set your worry aside. I’m a professional wedding speech writer, and I’ve created this guide to show you how to write a wedding speech.
So grab a pen and let’s get started.
Tip #1: Write the Introduction
The easiest way to write a wedding speech is to start with the introduction. This part of the speech requires the least amount of creative thought. It’s easy and to the point.
Simpy, welcome guests, state your name and your connection to the couple.
Wedding Speech Introduction Examples:
Welcome, everyone. My name is Carrie Edwards and I’m the bride’s youngest sister.
Good evening! I’m Carlos, the groom’s best friend from college.
Welcome! My name is David Smith and I’m the proud father of the bride.
Once you’ve finished writing this simple two-sentence introduction, you’ll feel a dose of progress has been made. This is just the momentum you’ll need to move forward.
Tip #2: Brainstorm Ideas for Your Speech
Next, complete the “pen to paper” exercise. Keep your pen to paper for 20-minutes while you brainstorm ideas for the speech.
Write down any memory or feeling you have about the bride, groom, and upcoming wedding.
This is not the time to self-critique, over-analyze, or edit. Just keep writing.
The goal of this exercise is to create a list of possible material before you write the wedding speech.
Tip #3: Organize Your Ideas into Themes
Once you’ve finished the brainstorming exercise, it’s time to narrow down your notes into possible theme ideas for the wedding speech.
Use different color pens and circle ideas that fit into various themes.
For example, circle any notes that have to do with how the groom shows compassion with red and any notes that have to do with how the groom can always make you laugh with blue.
You’ll notice prominent themes that will be useful for the next step.
Tip #4: Chose Your Theme and 2 - 3 Stories to Support that Theme
Review the various themes you identified and their corresponding anecdotes.
Which do you feel would best serve the wedding speech? Which would make your wedding speech the most entertaining and funny?
Choose one theme and include two or three stories to support that theme.
For example, let’s say the theme you choose to use is how the bride can bring fun to any situation.
Next, write out three stories that show this theme.
For example, there was the time she danced through the aisles at the grocery store, or when she did her Seinfeld impression when you were recovering from knee surgery. And then there’s her ability to create new shapes out of pancake batter every Sunday morning.
Each story should only be 15 - 45 seconds in speaking length.
Afterward, tie all the stories together by revealing the theme.
Example:
Cassidy manages to make any situation more fun simply by being herself. This is why I know her marriage will be full of joyful moments and why I know Dennis will spend the rest of his life smiling.
Tip #5: Talk About Their Spouse
The majority of the speech will focus on whoever you’re connected to: the bride or the groom. However, be sure to also talk about their spouse.
You can highlight the moment you met and describe your initial impression. Or detail out why their qualities will serve their marriage.
Focus on positive details. While it’s great to be funny, this is not a roast.
Tip #6: Give Advice at the End of the Speech
It doesn’t matter if your married, divorced, separated, or single—you are in a position to give the couple advice.
It helps to remember that you don’t have to literally say, “Here’s my advice to you both…”
Simply use this section near the end of your wedding speech to write out your wishes or hopes for the couple.
Example:
May you always laugh together after every disagreement, support each other during every obstacle, and seal every night with a kiss.
Tip #7: Write a Strong Last Line to End Your Wedding Speech
Guests may not remember your entire speech but they will remember the last line—if it’s a really good one.
The best way to achieve a strong last line is to connect to an idea or theme that was the focus from earlier in the speech.
FAQ for How to Write a Wedding Speech
Should I memorize my wedding speech?
No, do not memorize your speech. If you forget one word, you will likely stumble over the rest of your speech or worse, forget it entirely.
Instead, print your speech and read from it while making frequent eye contact with the couple and their guests.
What should I use to write my speech?
I recommend typing your speech rather than hand-writing it. This way, you can increase the size of your font to make it easier to read.
How do I deal with my pubic speaking fear?
Everyone has a fear of public speaking. The best way to confront this fear is through practice. Practice reciting your speech on your own and in front of people who you trust to give you constructive feedback.
The more you practice before the wedding date, the most comfortable and confident you’ll become.
How do I write a wedding speech for the rehearsal dinner?
The tips we discussed apply whether you’ll be reciting your speech at the wedding reception or the wedding rehearsal.
How long should the speech be?
Wedding speeches should be between three to six minutes. Always veer on the shorter side rather than the longer side.
While it can be more challenging to write a short speech, brevity often delivers the most entertaining and memorable speeches.
What should I do with my speech after the wedding?
Your wedding speech can make for a thoughtful gift to the couple. Print it and have it framed beside a picture of you with the couple from their wedding, or create a keepsake out of it by handwriting the speech onto a Christmas ornament.
Can you help me write a wedding speech?
Yes! As a professional wedding speech writer, I work with members of the wedding party to write custom speeches that couples love.
Get in touch to see how we can collaborate.